The Smart Way to Shop in a Grocery Store

Shopping in grocery stores can be tricky if you are wanting to buy healthy foods. The first thing that you need to know is that grocery store owners make most of their profits on the processed food items. They make the least amount of money on the fresh fruit and vegetable isles, the foods that are the best for you.




Keep in mind that the number one reason we eat is to give our bodies nutrition. We have turned eating into outlets for pleasure, stress, boredom, or any other emotional reason you can think of, but nutrition is still the most important reason we need to put food into our stomachs.





If nutrition is the reason we eat, then eating a diet largely made from processed foods completely ignores the crucial and most important component of why we eat. There is little to no nutrition in most of the processed foods that grocery stores stock their shelves with.





Since the largest profits come from processed foods in a grocery store, it makes sense that those are the items that will make up the bulk of what is in the store. Not to mention, processed foods have a shelf life that sometimes lasts for years, so the store owner does not have to worry about their expiration dates as he does when it comes to fruits and vegetables that are perishable.


So given the information that many of the grocery stores carry mostly processed food, and that is what makes up most of its inventory, how can you navigate through the store without getting trapped by the sale of processed food?



I said it before, but it is worth repeating, your most healthy non-processed foods are found in the perimeter of the grocery store, not down the center isles. Your fresh produce, meats, poultry, and dairy, are all kept towards the outer walls of grocery stores. It is when you start filling up your cart down the center isles that you can get into the unhealthy, processed foods.








Some stores now carry healthier items in their processed food isles like cereals that are made from whole grains, no chemicals, or high based sugars. You must read the labels to make sure you are getting a processed food that is not full of preservatives, sugar, bleached flours, chemicals, and such.



I find that staying away from brands that are coming from huge conglomerates , like General Mills, Kellogg, and Kraft, and looking for food that is made by "natural" manufacturing companies like, Nature Made or Nature's Path, helps to insure a healthier product. If you do not know what the ingredients are on a package, or cannot pronounce them, don't buy it.




Some people argue that healthy food is more expensive than most processed food. I disagree with that. Many people eat way too much food. If they ate the portion amount that they should, buying fresh fruits and vegetables can be just as economic as buying bulk processed food that they eat too much of.



I would rather eat smaller amounts of food that will give me the nutrition I need, than to eat large amounts of non nutritious food that does nothing for me except make me full, fat, unhealthy, and wanting more of it because of its addictive qualities.




Another thing to remember when you are going into a grocery store to shop, is to not go when you are really hungry. No doubt you will grab things that you don't need or really want when your hunger is driving you. Best to shop when you are not hungry so that you can making healthy choices.




So stay out of the center isles as much as possible, don't shop when you are hungry, and read your food labels on all processed foods! Take control of what it is you are eating.....remember that "we are what we eat". It is your choice to be healthy or unhealthy by what you ingest....choose well!






Till Thursday,
Queenie

Victim of Circumstance; Or Empowered by Circumstance

Now that I have gotten into the twenty-first century, I finally have a DVR. I am able to tape shows that I would not have normally been able to watch during the day because of work. I now record the "Oprah" show each day, and watch it when my work day has finished.



Yesterday she had Tyler Perry on the show. For those of you who do not know who Tyler Perry is, he happens to be the second most successful man in Hollywood, James Cameron being the first. Tyler Perry made the movie "Precious", among many other films, which was about a young girl who suffered unbelievable verbal, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of her mother and father. This movie was some what autobiographical for Mr. Perry, and mirrored much of what he endured during his childhood.



I was touched by the fact that Mr. Perry was brutally beaten, verbally abused, sexually abused by three men and one women before the age of ten, and against all odds, made a huge success out of his life. He was able to not let his "circumstance" take power over how he chose to live his life. He chose not to be a victim of his circumstance, but to become empowered by it and live a life that he created no matter what had happened to him.




This outcome of an abused person is not the norm. I love hearing stories about people who have been able to transcend their abusive past, and turn their lives around. Many people that live with abuse will continue that cycle throughout their lives, choosing to be destructive to themselves, and others around them. There are those like Mr. Perry who have chosen to find a better path, and overcome what has happened to him. He took his power back.



This shows such strength and character to be able to rise above what was truly evil behavior, and live a life that is compassionate, caring, loving, and successful. I have great respect for anyone who can make that journey.



We all have a story to tell about our life. Many of us experience abuse. Whether it is verbal, physical, or sexual, it is rare to meet anyone who has not experienced some kind of abuse from someone in their lives. In my training career I can tell you that many of my female clients had been sexually abused. Many of my friends and clients in the past thirty years had dealt with verbal abuse from their parents, and some had physical abuse as well.



Ultimately it is up to us how we are going to deal with what has happened to us. Are we going to give the abuser our power and let them destroy our lives? Many people do and suffer decades, if not their whole life, after the abuse has stopped. They are unable to take their power back and create the life that they really want. Destroying your life allows the abuser to keep winning, long after the abuse has ended.



We must understand that when someone is abusing us, particularly as a child where our choices are limited, it is never about us. It is always about the abusers insecurities, dysfunctions, mental disorders, or anger problems. They just project them onto whoever is weaker and unable to protect themselves. They dump all of their abuse onto those that are close to them, many times it is the small, innocent children that become the target. They are bullies, cowards, and broken individuals who are not able to transcend their own abusive past.






We always have choices, no matter what our circumstance might be. We can always choose to overcome our abuse if we are conscious, and mindful of it. It is not easy, but then living a destructive, downward spiral of a life is not easy either. I do not know why some of us experience a life of abuse, and others may not. I do not know why some of us have to struggle more than others do, or why some of us experience challenges more than others.



I do know that we are all on our own journey, and it is not to be compared to anyone else. We are handed a certain set of circumstance when we are born. Some of us get a childhood that has loving, supporting parents, and some of us don't. Whatever your circumstance is, you can make it what you want by not giving any abuse you might be experiencing the power to destroy you. Find counseling, discover the strength inside you, choose to understand that any abuse that you might have experienced, is never about you....it is always about them.



It is not easy to find strength when it has been physically and mentally beaten out of you. It is in you though. There is a wonderful, strong, capable, being inside of you that can shine through all of the negative that has crossed your path. Tyler Perry is living proof of that. His story gives many people the hope that they too can thrive and become a successful, compassionate, loving, person, regardless of their past. He is an inspiration to all of us.






Till Monday,
Queenie

Seasonal Change

Fall has definitely arrived where I live. It is now getting darker earlier, and the temperature has dropped. We are no longer able to be active outside in the evening hours. I do love that about the summer....riding bikes at eight o'clock at night is always great fun.




We tend to have a natural slow down when this time of the year comes around. Pretty soon it will be dark at 5:00 p.m., and much of the time that signals us to stop being as active. We also have the tendency to eat more during this time of year, perhaps it is similar to storing up for hibernation.




For these reasons it is important to be conscious of how much we are eating, and what kind of activity we are engaged in during the holiday and winter months. If we are not careful, five to ten pounds can be added to our bodies without us being aware of it.





Make sure that you are exercising even though the days are getting shorter. Make sure that you are choosing to eat mostly natures foods, even though holiday treats, and rich foods are much more available. Most of us are not happy gaining weight, for a few moments of over indulgence.





Choose to be moderate in your "fun" food eating. Take tastes of things, rather than eating full servings of something that is full of sugar, white flour, and fat. Eat slowly and chew slowly so that you can enjoy the flavor of your decadent foods while eating smaller amounts.





Find time to exercise earlier in the day so that the day won't get away from you and you run out of light. Choosing to exercise indoors with a gym membership, home equipment, or exercise videos, are ways to keep your fitness program going when the day light has ended.






It is all in the planning. Make a goal not to put on those winter pounds. Keep your exercise and diet in the healthy zones. Your body does not like it when you gain and lose weight, but rather likes to be at a steady healthy weight. It is not good for your heart to gain and lose pounds, particularly if those pounds start to be thirty, forty, or fifty pounds or more of weight. Best to find a healthy weight and stay there.





I love this time of the year. The leaves are beginning to turn, and the air is a little chillier, football is being played, and the holidays are coming. All we need to do is to be aware of our choices, and then choose the healthy ones!





Till Thursday,
Queenie

The Power of Perception

Perception is everything. It is how you feel about any situation, person, or thing. Perception can make the difference in being happy, or miserable. It can make the difference in being scared, or confident. Perception can make the difference in all that you think about.




What is perception? A psychology web page defines it this way; "Perception is our sensory experience of the world around us and involves both the recognition of environmental stimuli, and actions in response to these stimuli. Through the perceptual process, we gain information about properties and elements of the environment that are critical to our survival. Perception not only creates our experience of the world; it allows us to act within our environment."




So what exactly does that mean? Well to put it in simple terms; perception is what you think about your experience and interaction to the world around you and all that you do and see.





Two people can have the same experience but have completely different perceptions of what happened. I have seen it with my clients over and over. I have trained married couples many times, and one of them will tell me about an experience that they had, and the other one who had the same experience had a completely different perception of what that experience was. Same experience, different perception.



How you perceive of any situation can make the difference in you being happy with it or not. For instance, if your boyfriend breaks up with you, you can perceive this in several ways. You might think that you weren't good enough for him, or you might think that you are a loser. A better way to perceive it would be to think that he wasn't the right one for you, and now you have the opportunity to find a boyfriend that is.




Lets say that you have failed a test in school. You could perceive this that you are stupid and not capable of learning. Or you could perceive that you did not study like you should, but you are very smart and capable of getting a good grade by giving your studying more effort.



Have you ever heard of the saying, "A glass half empty, or a glass half full"? What this means is that some people look at their situations in life as a glass half empty, which means they see things as less than what they could be. For instance; if you have an old car that has a bad paint job and a few dents in it, you could perceive this as a bad thing. Or you could look at it as a glass half full, and you are lucky to be able to have a car at all. Perception....







I have told this story before, but it is worth telling again. When the fires in Santa Barbara burned down over 300 homes a few years ago, the local television station had a reporter interviewing two families who were neighbors, both had lost everything they owned, and their homes had burned to the ground.


The first family interviewed was distraught and emotionally broken. They talked to the reporter through their tears and expressed their grief in sobs and words of desperation. I do not want to make light of this situation, it would be an awful thing to have happen, but the fact is it did. Being so distraught would not change the fact that this horrible thing happened.



The second family who lost everything as well, announced without tears, that they had wanted to re-model their home anyway, and now because of the fire they had the opportunity to do so. They were accepting what had happened and knew they could not change it, but they could move forward. Perception.





Two families, same situation, different perception. Which one would feel better to you? Many times in our lives things happen that are traumatic and horrible. It is not what happens to us that matters as much as how we deal with those situations that matter. Your perception of any situation will make the difference in how you feel and what the outcome becomes.



So when you are going through your day, be conscious of how you are perceiving things. Did that person say something mean because of you, or was it really all about them. Did you feel jealous because of something that was real, or were you imagining something that really did not exist. Remember that we take a lot of things personal, when they never are.



We create more upset in our lives by perceiving something incorrectly, when we could avoid it by thinking about it in a better, healthier way. Take a look at your perceptions, you may be surprised how you can view your life differently. Its all in the perception!




Till Monday,
Queenie

Vegetables and Their Nutritional Value

Here I go again talking to you of the importance of eating your vegetables. I can't help myself....eating vegetables will help to keep you healthy and lean, it is one of the most important foods that we need for a healthy body and mind.




Cruciferous vegetables are the ones that help to fight cancer and help to build and protect your immune system. They are filled with vitamin C and K, potassium, folic acid, iron, calcium, and fiber. Some of the cruciferous vegetables include, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and cabbage. You can eat these raw, which is where you will receive more of the nutrient value, or lightly steamed.



Dark green leafy vegetables are high in iron, potassium, calcium, magnesium, carotinoids, and vitamins B, C, E, and K. Some of the choices for these are Kale, spinach, collard greens, parsley, turnip greens, and Swiss chard. You will be sure to get your allotment of vitamins and minerals eating a diet that includes these vegetables.




I have always heard that carrots will help with your eyesight. This is true. Carrots are high in carotinoid's and vitamin A. They are also a source for vitamins B, C, and K. Carrots give you fiber, potassium, magnesium, and folate, all are essential for good health.




Tomatoes are high in vitamin C, and lycopene. Lycopene is a carotinoid, and carotinoids act as an antioxidant in the body. Remember that antioxidants are the soldiers that work on ridding our bodies of free radicals that disease and age us. To think that vegetables help to slow down our aging and keep us from getting sick....what a deal!



Asparagus is another great vegetable which gives us potassium, fiber, vitamins A, C, K, and B complex, especially vitamin B6 and folic acid. Our B vitamins get depleted with stress, so this is a great way to give the body back what it needs. Asparagus can help us to lose weight, reduce inflammation, and help us with depression.




Bell peppers, sweet potatoes, squash, green beans, and peas, are also full of healthy nutrients, fiber and all of the things that help to keep us disease free and energized. Eating all vegetables raw or lightly steamed is recommended for keeping the nutrient value intact. If you cook them to death, you will not be getting the vitamins and minerals that you are looking for. The less they are cooked, the better.





Thank you for indulging me in another vegetable blog! Now go and make yourself a big salad packed full of raw vegies! Enjoy!



Till Thursday,
Queenie

Teen Suicide

This is a heavy conversation to have, but in light of the recent events where a young man jumped off a bridge to his death because he felt there was no alternative for him, I feel the need to talk about this subject, "Teen Suicide".




I found out that it is the third leading cause of death for young people the age of 15 to 24. Thousands of young boys and girls take there life each year feeling too lost, lonely, broken, and shattered to stay here in their human bodies. The majority of these suicides are male.





It is hard for most people to go through their teenage years. Hormones are at peak levels, social and peer pressure are intense, and finding your own self amidst all of this is at best, difficult. I had suicidal thoughts as a teen. My home life was difficult and I felt that suicide could be an alternative to dealing with it all.






What I see now looking back on it, was that I was being pretty dramatic and was not looking at the big picture. I remember my girlfriend and I were writing notes back and forth to each other at school about it. We would talk about how everyone would feel bad when we were gone. How our suicides would make an impact on all of those that hurt us, or treated us badly. They would all feel horrible when we were gone.




The thing that we forgot to think about, was that we would be gone, never to come back. The finality of it was not in our thoughts. The truth about suicide is that it is final. I know a little about this because my brother committed suicide. It was one of the most painful things that I have ever experienced.



I loved my brother so much. He never talked about killing himself. He was not a teenager, but much older when he took his life. It has been nearly eleven years now, and the pain of his loss is still with me. It was final....shocking....no going back....no changing the outcome. I miss him every day. Suicide is final, and devastating for anyone who loved that person. I felt helpless and excruciatingly sad for the pain he must have felt to have taken his life by hanging.






Nearly four years ago a 17 year old girl from a school near where I live, hung herself from a tree on a cold winters night. Her mother discovered her after finding her car off a rural road. She was an only child. I can not imagine the pain and suffering that this mother must be enduring still. I do not know how a mother could survive this. It is said that this girl did this because her boyfriend left her for someone else. Tragic and completely unnecessary.





I tell all of my teen students that no matter how sad or unhappy they might be about any situation, things always change, and your feelings do as well. You must love yourself before you can love or be loved. There is no one you can not live without. There is no situation that you can not survive and thrive from. There is nothing that is worth taking your life for. This is your life and it is a journey of many experiences, ups and downs, and twists and turns.



This is what life is; good, bad, fun, sad, hard, easy, magical, difficult, joyful, challenging, interesting, boring, and all of the emotions that you can think of. When you think that life is horrible, something will happen and suddenly it can turn around and be spectacular. You never know what tomorrow will bring. I have heard so many peoples stories of how they were on the brink of destruction and suddenly something showed up to bring support, help, and positive change. This has happened to me numerous times.



If you are practicing mindfulness, and all of the ways I write about to take care of yourself, you will have a much better outlook towards your life. If you are experiencing depression or having suicidal thoughts, find someone you trust to talk to. Reach out to a counselor, teacher, friend, family member, or anyone that you can feel comfortable with. Find an agency in your area through the internet that helps with teen suicide. There is always someone to talk to and someone to help.





I know the feeling of wanting to commit suicide. Aside from my teen years, I have had those thoughts in difficult times in my life. I know that it is never an option for me, even though it is a thought. I know that things always change and tomorrow is a new day. I practice my mindfulness and stay out of negative thought more now than ever. I practice what I preach.




If you know of anyone who is feeling depressed or suicidal, offer them your ear and help them find the support that they need. Suicide is final, the drama around it, is not. Any life is precious..... and yours is no exception.



Till Tomorrow,
Queenie

Religion

I have wanted to write this blog for a while, but have resisted due to the fact that talking about religion is such a volatile and personal conversation to have, I have put it off.....that is until now.




There is so much going on in this world that has to do with religion. Most wars are fought over it, most violence is caused by it, and much of the hate in the world is because of it. How ironic is that! Something that is supposed to be about compassion, love, and kindness, is causing much of the pain and sorrow that exists today and throughout time.





I was not raised with any religion, but was allowed to go to whatever church I wanted to go to. Throughout my childhood, I investigated many different religions. Catholic, Methodist, Episcopal, Baptist, Buddhist, you name it, I was there. It gave me a very different perspective than what most people have.





What is more normal for most people is that they are raised by parents who have a religion that has been passed down through generations of their family. Catholics are raised by Catholics, Mormon's by Mormon's, Jewish by Jewish, and so on and so on. People are told from a young age that their religion is the "right" one, and that other religions are not.



In a way it is a sort of a brain washing. A Muslim child will be told that their beliefs are the ones that are right. Why would they think any different? It is the same with White supremacists. They raise their children to hate others and feel superior to all other races, how could they believe otherwise? Catholic children believe that their religion has the correct answers. How can these children grow up thinking any different when they have been taught to believe in the way of their religion.



A study came out last week stating that the group of people that are the most knowledgeable about religion are atheists and agnostics. Very interesting. These people have studied all religions more than others and have come to an interesting conclusion.





I respect anyone who believes in a religion that is about love, compassion, kindness, caring, non judgement, and being a descent human being. I do not understand people who claim to be religious but practice hate, judgement, ridicule, violence, and bigotry.




If you are going to call yourself a Christian, but continue to hate and judge others, I would suggest that you refer back to the teachings of Jesus and understand that those things are not what Jesus taught.




If only the world had one religion....a religion of love, kindness, compassion, tolerance, caring, benevolence, integrity, and generosity of the spirit. What a world that would be. You know that most religions are based in a foundation of those things, it has been man that has added all the garbage to them.




I hope that I have not insulted anyone by having this conversation. I only wish to open peoples eyes to how ridiculous it is to have all this hate and violence come under the guise of religion. I prefer to call myself a spiritual person who has tried to find love and compassion for anyone, no matter their faith. I have a more difficult time with those who practice religions that teach hate and separation, but I am working on that, and probably will be working on that for a long time.



Till Thursday,
Queenie