About Me

I have been a teacher of fitness and health for thirty years. In 1989 I was certified for personal training with the National Acadamy of Sports Medicine. I had a gym in Santa Barbara for eight years. Co-owned and created a spinning bike company which manufactured bikes for five years. Also I have worked with nutrition companies for twenty years. Along with many wonderful non famous people I have trained many celebrities, and members of the Royal Family. My own athletic past consists of long distance running, long distance cycling, cross country skiing, down hill skiing, rollerblading, hiking, sand running, track work, and weight training. I have authored two fitness columns in local papers, and have been writing this blog since January 2010.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Don't Be a Victim of Your Own Thinking and Actions

In recent days, I have had several conversations with people about being a "victim" of our own thoughts.  If you have been reading this blog, you know that I believe that we choose every thought that we have, consciously or unconsciously.  If we have thoughts that are counter productive to becoming who we want to be such as, "I am choosing to eat this bad food, even though I want to lose weight", or "I am not going to exercise today because I am too tired, even though I want to be fit", we then become a victim of our own thoughts.

I realize that many people do not want to believe that they "choose" every thought and action that they have, because that would make them responsible for all that they are.  They could no longer blame anyone for their lot in life if they were the ones responsible for it..  We can all sit around and blame our parents, spouses, or others that have had great impact on us for what we consider abuse or negativity in our lives.  "I eat bad food because my parents didn't love me", or "I do drugs because I had an abusive childhood".  Whatever it is that you believe has caused your pain can be valid, but how you choose to react to it, is always "your" choice.

Many people have had abusive lives, and out of that abuse came choices.  Choices in how to think and react to the abuse. Choosing to do drugs, over eat, drink alcohol, or engage in any kind of behavior that destroys your health and your life, is a choice that makes you just another victim....a victim of your own thoughts and choices.  I know this, because I was a victim of my own thoughts and choices for a big part of my life.  Being a victim of myself has never been a benefit to me, it only made things worse.

It is not easy to choose healthy thoughts and actions, if you have come from a background of unhealthy thoughts and actions.  But, you do have the choice to not be a victim anymore if you want to live a life that benefits the health of your body, mind, and spirit.  It is also not "easy" to keep choosing unhealthy thoughts and actions and to continue the cycle of abuse, it is just more familiar because it has become habitual.

One of the most important things to remember when we keep engaging in unhealthy behavior, is to put discipline back into our vocabulary.  It amazes me how many people, especially our youth of today, do not discipline themselves in anything.  "I am too tired to exercise today", "They had donuts at class today, and I couldn't stop myself from eating them", "I just can't exercise and eat right because it is too hard".  These are the comments that I hear constantly from people.  Well if you put a little "discipline" back into your life, you can accomplish anything that you want.  Without discipline, reaching any goal would be impossible, unless that goal was to be overweight, lazy, and unproductive.

It is not easy to break old habits....but it is possible with discipline.  Its not easy to think more positive when you are used to negative thinking, but it is possible with discipline and focus.  It is not easy to react in new ways that will benefit you, when you have been used to reacting unconsciously in dysfunctional behavior, but it is possible when you use discipline and are conscious of your behavior.  All of this takes effort, discipline, and being conscious of how you are thinking and acting. 

So if you are wanting to have a healthier, happier, life, but feel at a loss of how you can turn your own dysfunctional thoughts and actions into more positive choices.....begin by being responsible for how you are thinking and acting.  No one else is to blame, no matter what has happened to you.  You still get to choose every second of every day how you want to think and act.  If you choose to be a victim, then you will continue to suffer.  If you choose to take responsibility for where you are at in life, then you will be in a power position and able to take charge of how your life unfolds. 

You get to choose how your life turns out.  Stop being a victim of your own thoughts and actions.  Choose thoughts and actions that benefit you.  It is all up to you to think and act in a way that is going to give you the life you want, or it will keep giving you the life that you are a victim of. 

Let me know your thoughts on how this works in your life.  If you have been practicing "mindfulness" then you understand how this works.  If you have not been working with mindfulness, you now have a tool that can radically change your life for the better.  Let me know if mindfulness has had an impact on your life....would love to hear your experiences with it.

Wishing you Health and Happiness,

1 comment:

  1. Hi Queenie. I had an "ah-ha" moment yesterday. I was talking with my wife about some of her tendencies to be the victim: "They cut ME off in traffic." "No one ever invites ME to go out." "My family expects ME to do everything."

    Later I was thinking, "Do I play the victim role too?" I didn't think so at first, but then the "ah-ha" hit me.

    I'm a victim of my own thinking! Generally my life has been great. I shouldn't complain about a thing. But at times I'm blue and depressed that things (career and musical interests) didn't turn out exactly as I hoped. And that's when it hit me. I am playing the victim, only it's inward, in my thinking.

    Now, I'm going to try to do better. I'm going to try to recognize those victim thoughts and shut them off as fast as possible. I already feel better just having realized what is causing my disappointment, and that I have a way to deal with it.

    Sorry to be so long winded, but you are the first person I have expressed this to. By the way, I found your blog when I did a search for 'vicitm of my own thoughts'. Thanks for lending an ear!