Being Impeccable with Your Word

Today I want to talk about one of the four agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz's book "The Four Agreements". (See Four Agreements Blog) This is something that everyone should be practicing, but unfortunately most of us do not.

One of the ways that the author describes this agreement is, "Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."


How lovely that would be if we all practiced that agreement 100% of the time. Can you imagine a world where everyone spoke the truth, only used words that were kind and loving, and never gossiped or degraded anyone with words? It would be a kind, compassionate, and loving existence for everyone. Hard to grasp!

I work on this agreement all of the time. I try not to give my word to anyone unless I am willing to follow through with it. This I have gotten pretty good at. If I tell someone I will do something, then I make sure to do it. If I say I will be somewhere at a certain time, I make sure to be there when I said I would. I have practiced keeping my word to others, and I feel better for it.

Always telling the truth is sometimes difficult for most of us. Little white lies, as we call them, seem to be harmless and we tell these white lies multiple times in a day. An example of this might be getting a phone call that you don't want to take and telling the person that you are busy and can't talk at the moment, but you really are not busy and lied to get out of taking the call.

These kind of fibs don't create much harm, except for the fact that you are being out of integrity with you word, and ultimately it will reflect on you not being honest. The caller may not ever know the truth, but you will, and that will effect your personal relationship with being out of integrity.



One of the things I have noticed in my 22 plus years of working with women is that they have a bad habit of saying negative things about themselves. I hear things like, "I'm fat", "I'm awful at this", "I hate my body", "My legs look terrible", "I'm such a looser", "I'll never be able to do that", and so many other negative things that I don't have enough time to write them all down. Females are many times their own worst enemy.

Speaking negatively about yourself is in many ways worse than someone else doing it. You have yourself captive 24 hours a day to degrade and belittle yourself. Try stopping the negative chatter by first becoming aware that you are doing it, and then quickly replacing it with a positive thought about yourself. I have always told clients that do this, that they have to say 10 positive things to erase the one negative thing that they just said. It helps.

Talking negatively or gossiping about others is really detrimental to ourselves. Why do we spend so much time gossiping? I am guilty of this too...but I have found that when I am gossiping, I do not feel good about it.


Does talking about someone else's troubles and traumas somehow help us to feel better about ourselves? It is a horrible way to try and feel good about ourselves, and really points out how bad we do feel about our own lives if we have to revel in the bad news of someone else.

Gossiping about total strangers like celebrities is even more weird. Why do we waste our valuable time caring about a celebrity that has slept with someone other than their spouse. What business is it of ours? How does this kind of gossip get on national news? It goes to show you where the attention of our population is...and that my friends, is in the gutter.

Telling the truth all of the time is not easy, but would make your life easier if you could practice doing just that. Some people think they have to lie so they do not hurt someones feelings, but I disagree with that. If someone asks you if you like their dress and you don't, you do not need to lie or be mean, just say "It's not my style, but its great for you." That way you tell the truth, and are not hurtful to your friend.

So begin practicing being impeccable with your word. Read "The Four Agreements" to get a full understanding of this agreement. It will help you to be a better person, and others will respect you for it.


Till Tomorrow,
Queenie