About Me

I have been a teacher of fitness and health for thirty years. In 1989 I was certified for personal training with the National Acadamy of Sports Medicine. I had a gym in Santa Barbara for eight years. Co-owned and created a spinning bike company which manufactured bikes for five years. Also I have worked with nutrition companies for twenty years. Along with many wonderful non famous people I have trained many celebrities, and members of the Royal Family. My own athletic past consists of long distance running, long distance cycling, cross country skiing, down hill skiing, rollerblading, hiking, sand running, track work, and weight training. I have authored two fitness columns in local papers, and have been writing this blog since January 2010.

Friday, August 20, 2010

When Frustrated, Try Kindness

Today I had to deal with yet another frustrating situation. It seems like when ever you are in a transaction with a company, odds are you will not get the transaction done right the first time. That is exactly what I had to deal with one more time.

I remember back in the day that if a company made a mistake in a transaction with you, they would do everything possible to rectify it. Now days, they try to remove themselves from any blame and put it back onto to you, especially if any costs are to be involved.

This transaction had to do with my satellite dish for my television. They sent me two new receiver box's because mine were too old. Long story short, they sent the wrong box's, gave the technician the wrong order, and it became a big mess where no one wanted to take the blame.

Now I had many things to do today, but this problem caused me to put everything on hold and try to figure out a solution to their mistake. I felt very frustrated and angry, but I knew that taking that out on the technician or the guy who was on the phone with me for over two hours, was not going to get me anywhere.

I had to keep remembering to be kind to these two guys that were involved with this company and who were the ones that could hopefully find a solution to this problem. Kindness is hard to get to when you are frustrated and angry. However, it is a the way to get results. Being mad and yelling at them would get me nowhere.

So I had to keep calling upon "kindness" instead of what I really felt like like doing which was to scream and yell obscenities at them. I had to keep reminding myself that these people just work for this company that has made the errors, they did not personally make the errors themselves.

This is another part of being mindful. Thinking the situation through before reacting from emotion will more likely get you the results you are looking for. Reacting from negative emotion will more likely get you more frustration and will not make the people you are dealing with want to solve your problem.

When you are kind, others will usually respond in the same way. Kindness will get you so much more than being angry and mean. Kindness softens people, and helps them feel more compassion towards any situation. Kindness can many times defuse a bad interaction.

So the next time you feel frustrated and angry at someone or something, take a breath, calm yourself, and then try a little kindness instead of reacting from negative emotion. It will always give you a better outcome, I promise you that!

Till Monday,

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